Reflections on 6 months of self-employment
“But there, sat in Costa nursing a mediocre cappucino, I had no plan.”
Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.
2023 kicked the crap out of me. From family health problems and the loss of my remaining grandparents, to my husband losing his job, followed swiftly by me losing mine. Summer last year was a bit of a mess.
I remember the day I found out I was going to be made redundant. I sat in Costa with my husband (who was also unemployed at this point) feeling like I’d had the wind knocked out of me. Redundancy just feels different, suddenly you’re no longer needed, although it’s not personal, it’s definitely a gut punch to the ego for sure. I’d left jobs before, but it was always to swiftly move on to something else, I always had a plan. But there, sat in Costa nursing a mediocre cappuccino, I had no plan. I didn’t know whether to laugh at the universe, or cry with overwhelm.
I wasn’t feeling this way because I was necessarily distraught about the job coming to an end. It felt shocking, but expected. Moreso, it all felt like a big joke, a big kick up the ass from the universe, because just a week prior I had vented to my husband how I was feeling a bit stuck in rut.
I had also said only a few months before how I definitely did not want to work for myself.
Hahahahahah, let’s all laugh at the irony together shall we.
So here I was thrown back into CV writing and endless cover letters.
What followed went a bit like this.
…..
…..
…. (insert cricket noise and tumble weed)
That’s right, nothing. Radio silence. I didn’t even get so much as an interview for any of the positions I applied for. It was looking pretty dire and I was beginning to sweat a little as I watched my finances shrink faster than a cashmere jumper on a hot wash.
But let’s back track a little.
Why had I felt so strongly about not working for myself, just a couple of months prior to being made redundant?
I think it was down to a mix of things, the first being fear. Not fear of failure or fear of the unknown, fear of falling out of love with what I do. You see I had freelanced before as an illustrator and the constant pressure to be on social media, to be marketing yourself, to be producing work that was ‘commercial,’ made me fall out of love with it. In fact, I stopped drawing for a good couple of years.
I’d seen so many honest posts from other self-employed ID’s laying bare the realities of freelancing. The endless marketing, the chasing invoices, the constant pitching. I didn’t want to spend 80% of my week on social media, I wanted to just do my job and do it well.
So I had made up my mind, I would just stay in permanent employment and keep working upwards. Maybe lead a team, or become more senior. Done. Decision made.
“It was time to pull out the big guns, so on to LinkedIn I went.”
Flash forward 3 months and a couple of weeks post redundancy, another rejection email pinged into my inbox. I was starting to feel a bit desperate. It was time to pull out the big guns, so on to LinkedIn I went.
First of all I put the years of experience of having various side businesses to good use. Due to the abruptness of which my job ended, I had nothing prepared, no CV, no branding, no portfolio, nothing. I whipped up a logo and new branding in record time. Was it the most professional example of design work I’d ever done? No. But do I kind of love it now? Yes.
Branding done it was now time for the ‘help me’ post.
Typing up a post asking for help felt a bit like begging, but I didn’t know what else to do. Although it may have seemed a bit desperate I am so grateful for that LinkedIn post. I had some absolutely fantastic responses and ex-colleagues, strangers and other professionals in the industry rallied round to provide advice, share my post and offer words of support. You were all so kind and I’m so appreciative of all of you.
A few days passed and suddenly a message pinged into my LinkedIn inbox from a recruitment agency, asking if I had ever done agency work and if I wanted to book in a call. My husband, having worked in recruitment, told me to go for it as it could be a good stop-gap whilst I found something more permanent.
Little did I know, this would be the beginning of the best 6 months of my career.
Can we just insert a little dramatic pause here…I feel it’s necessary.
Soon after I was hooked up with my first ever temporary contract and I absolutely loved it. The team at Omniplex were all super and I thrived on the pace at which they worked. It felt so exciting and so invigorating to be putting my creativity to good use again.
It was at this point I started to get enquiries around freelance work too.
Now I was in absolutely no position to be giving up contract work and going freelance full time, but I began to come around to the idea that I could juggle the two. Maybe permanent employment wasn’t the be all and end all.
Suddenly, I started to get a bit excited, could I actually maybe make this work?
I soon realised that I had fallen in love with this way of working. Whilst temporary work would be nightmarish for some, the variety was and still is like a drug to me. I was contracting by day, freelancing by night. Like some kind of very boring L&D superhero.
Was it the most stable career move? No. Is it bloody hard work? Yes. Some days I finish one job and just move on to the next.
But I’ve never been happier, more relaxed and more sure that the move away from permanent employment was the right one.
In October of 2023, just 3 months after being made redundant and now onto my second temp contract, I registered as a sole trader. This felt like such a huge commitment. I was finally putting it out there that this was my plan now, I was officially self-employed.
Flash forward again to present day (Jan 2024), and I am still happily ticking along doing short agency contracts and building my client base. I still have so much to learn, like navigating self-assessment (this brings me out in a cold sweat) and tweaking and refining my pricing, but for the first time ever I’m in no rush. I’m happily bobbing along enjoying the flexibility, freedom and excitement that comes with this new stage in my career.
Should I be more stressed about the unpredictability of it all? Probably. But I’m also a big believer in gut feelings and there was someone practically screaming in my ear that this is going to be the right path for me.
Whilst I still have lots to learn, there is so much I have already learned and some things that have really surprised me from the last 6 months.
Let’s start with things that have surprised me…
“I feel much more present now and able to enjoy things as they are. I’m no longer hungrily running towards the next promotion, or pay rise.”
I’m okay with the uncertainty.
I don’t just mean the uncertainty that can come between finishing projects, but the uncertainty of the future as a whole. Now I love change and actively seek it out, but my job was always the one stability in my life. When I first started freelancing and contracting, I thought I would find the unpredictability of it immensely stressful, mainly because of the financial implications. However, I was surprised at how unphased I have felt by it all. I’ve also made peace with the fact that this may not be forever and that if I do choose, or need to go back into permanent employment, I’ve not failed in any way, it’s just another branch in my career. Maybe it’s the trauma of 2023 making me live a bit more in the moment, maybe I’m a bit delusional, or maybe I’ve finally stopped giving myself such a hard time. Who knows. Either way, I feel much more present now and able to enjoy things as they are. I’m no longer hungrily running towards the next promotion, or pay rise.I’m more relaxed leading client meetings.
I will admit, this was the part of self-employment I was dreading the most. Client meetings. I find long meetings incredibly difficult, I fidget, have trouble keeping eye contact and often daydream. I’m a deep thinker and once the creative cogs have started turning, my brain begins whirring away, often then unconsciously blocking out the conversation I should be listening too. (think JD from Scrubs) I also have a real issue processing verbal instructions, so have to write everything down to make it stick. Yes I’m awaiting a formal ADHD diagnosis.This behaviour has sometimes led to some less than complimentary feedback from previous managers and caused me to be hyper aware of myself, meaning meetings can be a huge stress point for me. Therefore it is no surprise I was really concerned how I would be perceived, when leading client meetings totally alone.
To my surprise, I’ve found that I’m more relaxed and more authentically me, than I ever have been. I think this is down to me being in a place where I’m providing a service I’m an expert on, therefore when having conversations with new and existing clients my passion, love and enthusiasm for what I do pours through. This then overshadows the small insecurities I had around fidgeting and eye contact. I’m also no longer self-conscious of a manager watching me, which means all of my focus is on the conversation being had and building and maintaining the relationship with the person I’m talking to, and not performing for a superior.
I’ve also learned to set boundaries for myself, I consciously choose who to work with and only schedule meetings that are a maximum 1 hour long, to help maintain my focus and productivity.
“I woke up the day after my 30th birthday and thought screw it, I am good at what I do and I need to start acting like it. “
3. My confidence skyrocketed
After the initial destroying of my ego that came with the countless rejection emails, I started to find my confidence increased dramatically. Not in a boastful, cocky kind of way, but confidence in my decision making, my abilities and myself in general. I’m convinced part of this is due to turning 30, it’s like I woke up the day after my 30th birthday and thought screw it, I am good at what I do and I need to start acting like it.
I’ve begun to change my language too, no longer using phrases like “I got lucky to land this job,” or “I think I’m good at it.” No. More like, I worked my ass off for this job and I know I’m good at it. Now this felt soooo uncomfortable at first, because society has made women feel that we should be humble and apologetic at all times. But using confident language has helped keep my imposter syndrome at bay and instils confidence in who I’m working with, that they’ve made the right decision.
4. I enjoy the social media side
Keeping up with constant marketing and social media was a big concern of mine but I’ve found that I quite enjoy it. Whilst it can be tricky sometimes keeping a consistent presence on social media, it is worth it and I’ve had some fantastic conversations with fellow professionals and picked up some great ideas too from networking.
I also don’t put too much pressure on myself in regards to what I post. I try and keep it quite relaxed and love sharing ideas, processes and snippets of what I’m working on. Taking a less ‘sales based’ approach I think has helped me maintain the enjoyment so far.
It has also been great for feedback. I’ve built up a network of amazing ID’s and fellow creatives who provide honest, helpful and constructive feedback.
5. I’m not lonely!
Through contracting and networking I’ve made some great friends, although technically speaking we’re ‘competitors’ we all look out for each other and frequently share ideas, feedback and links to jobs or potential work. It has been so valuable to have others to connect with and share our frustrations, thoughts and just generally have a bit a chat.
So what have I learned?
Now only being six months in, I wouldn’t say I’m exactly the font of all knowledge when it comes to self-employment, but for anyone thinking of taking the leap here’s a few useful things I’ve learned.
Keep track of your invoices and expenses! I have a little spreadsheet set up, where I have details of my invoices and when they were paid, or when I’m expecting payment. I also work out tax as I go, so I can try and minimise any unwanted surprises. I use a simple Excel spreadsheet, but you could sign up to a software, like Crunch accounting for example. Make a note of any subscriptions you have related to your business, such as Articulate, or PowerPoint, or any design based software.
Schedule up your social posts. This might seem a bit impersonal and less fluid or in the moment, but saves you so much time. On a Sunday evening I tend to dedicate around an hour to just brainstorming what I want to share or talk about for the week and then scheduling 3 or 4 posts in.
Find a routine that suits you. You’ll find it weird not needing to be logged-on at 9 am sharp, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t develop a routine for yourself. Due to having to do the school run, I have no choice but to get up and dressed everyday. (even though I’d love to work from my bed somedays!) I then take my dog out straight after, before coming home, having breakfast and finally sitting down in my home office by around 9:30 am. I do around 2 hours work and then my energy starts to dip so I go for a 30 minute workout, followed by lunch, then back to work by around 12:30. I work for another couple of hours, then pick my kids up, throw food at them (because they’re like vultures) and do another hour or so. If I’ve got looming deadlines, I sometimes log back on around 8pm to do a few bits in front of the tele..
This routine took a few months to develop, but feels perfectly suited to me now. It means I get the most out of my day, whilst still prioritising exercise and decent meals. Two things I was massively neglecting whilst in permanent work.Utilise time management techniques. As I thankfully started to gain more work, I had to learn how to prioritise this work appropriately. Using time management techniques such as the urgent / important matrix, has been really helpful in being able to organise my tasks into their level of priority. This means I’m able to keep up with admin or social media, whilst still meeting deadlines and completing those bigger tasks. Don’t forget to add in the hobbies or time for you as well, your 30 minute yoga class is important so plan your time around these activities.
Slow and steady wins the race. This is so against my nature, because I’m incredibly impatient and constantly move at a million miles an hour. Whilst some of us may be lucky to have a waterfall of work flood onto us as soon as we announce we’re self-employed, it is unlikely this will happen. You’ve got to be okay with the ebs and flows that come with project based work and it’s always good to have a backup plan. For me, if I know there’s a quiet period coming up, I get in touch with my agency and see if there’s any contract work. It takes the pressure off financially and buys you a bit of time.
Building a secure client base will take time and hard work.
It has been an amazing 6 months and I hope in another 6 months I’ll be able to write a ‘reflecting on my year of self-employment’ post! But if not, that’s okay too. For now, I’m just going to enjoy things as they are.
